Zero Tolerance: The Squeakel
by GlassSuicune
Summary: A not-so-epic story of memory loss, lollipops, squirrels, and never-ending whipped cream, among other things. No sanity required.


Zero Tolerance: The Squeakel by GlassSuicune

Note: MegaMan Zero belongs to Capcom. This is a sequel to my bizarre story Zero Tolerance, quite obviously, only this isn't based on a dream. Either way, I'm at a loss as to what possessed me to write this.

A month after Zero, Harpuia, Leviathan, and Fefnir had been abducted by aliens, they were promptly returned to Earth with the aliens having decided that the planet was full of idiots and not worth the trouble of conquering. During their time on the alien ships, however, the four Reploids had their already non-existent brains reduced to a gooey mess that not even the greatest technology can ever restore. And that's saying something.

Which is exactly why Zero was stupid enough to press the big shiny button on the memory eraser he had stolen from the aliens, just to see what it did.

Zero, Ciel, and Elpizo all stared at the device blankly, after it had blasted them with a very colourful light. Finally, the three looked at each other, and promptly put their hands up defensively while screaming, "WAH! Who are you?" A few seconds passed, and the sound of a squirrel obliterating an acorn could be heard. "...I don't remember my name..." Elpizo suddenly said, "WHO AM I?" The Reploid then fell to his knees and started screaming to high Heaven. Zero was focused on the squirrel.

"I feel like..." Zero started, "I know that squirrel..." The squirrel looked at him innocently, content to chow down on its acorn. Ciel suddenly walked to a mirror, and promptly freaked out when it mimicked her movements. "OMIGOSH! That woman in there is copying me!" Ciel shrieked, running away at full speed and knocking poor Elpizo unconscious. No one noticed Alouette had sneaked in and taken the device, a devious grin on her face.

The squirrel let out a chirp, and suddenly Zero felt himself consumed with rage. "YOU WILL PAY!" he screamed, pulling out his chain rod. The squirrel got on the defensive and backed off. Zero then swung the rod back, knocking Elpizo out once more, then threw it at the squirrel, before through some un-explained Plot Hole, the rod came back and hit him right in his stomach. While Zero was on the ground clutching his stomach in pain, the squirrel ran for the hills.

Elpizo suddenly stood up and struck a dynamic pose. "I remember who I am now!" he cried triumphantly, "I am El...!" The Baby Elves suddenly appeared out of nowhere and walloped him right on his head, before disappearing into the darkness from whence they came. Elpizo stood there dazed, before saying, "Um... What was I talking about again?"

The brain-damage is also the reason why Neo Arcadia was in complete and total chaos.

"There better be a good explanation for this..." Copy X growled, as he and Phantom stared at the three crazies, who were going about their insane business. Harpuia was dancing around saying the word 'Lollipop' over and over again, with a lollipop nestled rather awkwardly in his mouth, while Leviathan was throwing things out of the refrigerator left and right. Finally, she stopped and screamed, "THERE'S NO WHIPPED CREAM IN HERE!" Meanwhile, Fefnir was just randomly breaking stuff for the fun of it, not even realizing that Neo Arcadia really needed that computer he just wrecked.

"I swear Master X..." Phantom said defensively, as the copy narrowed his eyes dangerously at him, "I have no idea what is going on..." Fefnir then grabbed the refrigerator, scared Leviathan into running away, and then threw the giant electronic at Harpuia. "Shut up you immature _freak_!" he yelled, as Harpuia was flattened by the refrigerator. Phantom took that opportunity to snatch the lollipop and keep it out of his brother's reach.

"Phantom," Copy X said, his voice slightly concerned, "I'm not so sure that's a good idea..." The ninja looked at him. "How so, Master X?" he inquired.

"...The look in Harpuia's eyes should be a dead giveaway..."

Phantom looked and saw his brother weeping for the lollipop, a look of pure rage in his green eyes. Suddenly, Harpuia gained a burst of strength, and promptly threw the refrigerator off him, hitting Fefnir and sending him flying out the window. Phantom let out a shriek as the green Reploid tackled him, growling viciously. "Give...back...LOLLIPOP!" Harpuia roared, a crazed look in his eyes. Copy X then swiped the lollipop from Phantom and waved it in front of Harpuia's face. "You want it?" he inquired, "FETCH!" He then threw it out the window, and Harpuia pursued it.

"Thank you, Master..." Phantom breathed, getting back up. Copy X said nothing. Instead, his eyes widened in terror when Leviathan came back, holding two cans labeled 'Never-ending whipped cream'. "I AM THE SNOW QUEEN!" she declared, before spraying the whipped cream out of the cans. It truly was never-ending, as the cans were not empty, even though they should've been after a few minutes. Fefnir had come back by this time and was eating the whipped cream. Harpuia showed no interest, instead he was focused on sucking on the lollipop, while muttering "Precious" in a mantra.

All of a sudden, the door opened and Alouette came riding through the whipped cream flooded room on a tricycle, holding a peculiar device in her hands. Copy X and Phantom stared at her absolutely dumbstruck, while the three continued what they were doing. "Don't you..." Alouette sang, activating the device and shielding her eyes, "...forget about me." A bright, colourful light flashed, and when it ended, Alouette was nowhere to be seen.

Copy X looked around the room. "Is this...whipped cream?" he inquired, tasting the fluffy white stuff, "It is! How did it get here...? Wait a minute! Who am I? And who's this ninja freak over here?" Phantom looked at him, mouth wide-open. "Ninja?" he shrieked, "WHERE?" Leviathan was busy examining the cans, before looking at Fefnir. "Who are you?" she asked. "Same to you!" Fefnir retaliated. Harpuia looked around desperately. "I gotta find my brain!" he shrieked, "And my identity!" He then ran out of the room screaming his head off.

"SQUIRREL!" Zero screamed in rage, destroying the door as the squirrel ran into the room. He knocked Copy X and Phantom out cold while yelling, "Out of my way people-I-don't-know!" He shoved Leviathan and Fefnir out of his way, sending them out the window screaming. Ciel and Elpizo suddenly ran in. "Red guy!" Elpizo shrieked, "Get back here before you kill yourself!" He then pursued Zero with reckless abandon, Ciel following.

"Oi!" a feminine voice cried, "What happened here?" The female came into view, revealing herself to be a humanoid Suicune. The Pokemon examined the room, seeing all the chaos, and realization hit her. "Oh..." she said stupidly, "_I_ happened... Oh well, another job well done." She smiled and pulled out a rock-hard muffin. She took a huge bite out of it and threw it, knocking out Elpizo.

Come on, what did you think was gonna happen to the poor blond?

Note: And there you have it... I honestly have no clue which Zero Tolerance made more sense... This, or the original? You tell me...


End file.
